hitlerdjesus

hitlerdjesus @ 2004-08-22T17:09:00

2004-08-22T21:12:39Z

i am officially not updating my lj any more.
i think it is retarded.
it just depresses me.
i hate sharing my thoughts with strangers.
if you want to write your deepest thoughts.. do it in an actual journal instead of whining to everyone.
and if you just want to talk about your day.. talk about it to a friend.
geez.
this is stupid.
good bye forever.
i hate my life.

hitlerdjesus @ 2004-08-21T17:22:00

2004-08-21T21:35:46Z

haven't updated in a while... i appologize.

school is awesome. <3
i love going.

yesterday was heather's party and i was going to go but then we didn't have a ride and we didn't know how to get there... sorry heather.

last night i went to chris's.
a lot of fun. <3
they had band practice.
chris and i fell asleep cuddling together.<3

tonight is a trlp show... i'm probably going. if we don't we are going to go see the exorcist.. chris is probably going to join the party.

katie has tried many times to have sex with cory.. but every time cory cancels cuz "something happened" or "he can't",or "he's too tired"... but my favorite one was "even though the door without a handle is closed all the way... meaning it would take 2 ppl, a knife, and 10 minutes to get out.. i'm afraid your friends are going to come running in really fast.." ------- yeah..

today lacie and i saw a turtle and ran over to it and found out it was really two turtles making babies. it was quite enticing.

karlie wrote her top bands.. so i must now write mine.

in no spacific order:
<3 thursday
<3 cursive
<3 avenged sevengfold
<3 atreyu
<3 every time i die
<3 alexisonfire
<3 the bled
<3 unearth
<3 blood brothers
<3 an albatross
<3 msi
<3 avril lavigne! <3 <3 <3 <3
...did you think that i was gunna give it up to you, this time?

(st. ursula academy)

2004-08-17T18:40:04Z

Yesterday was my school's official "orrientation".
i didn't know anyone except for the people that i hated.
so at lunch i made friends with a bunch of cute little preppy girls and we had a lot of fun.
then after that i went around and made friends with all the other ones.
to my dissapointment, the lesbians were minimal (sp?).
the only lesbians were really ugly and manlike.
but it was a lot of fun.. all the girls started hugging me and linking arms with me and they all said i was their new best friend! i felt so loved. i don't know any of their names though.. they all looked the same to me. i sat with them and we all blew kisses to eachother. all girl school is so much fun!

this friday i am going to heather's party. it shall be rad. i don't have any money but i managed to find a dollar to give her. and i am making her a card. i am lookig forward. <3
and then on saturday : to chris's!! i can't wait to see andy's new baby girl! i think they named her erin??? i don't remember.
and i got new shoes today.
and i <3 you.

moi manquer de me'got avoir des (muahaha)

2004-08-14T05:52:56Z

tomorrow i start school... yeah... it's saturday tomorrow.. and i am starting school.. i know..

i might have fun.. it's all girls. a lot of lesbians for me to hit on. my gf is going to be the girl with the BIGGEST boobs in the whole school.

but moving on to a happier note than beautiful lesbians :

i went to chris's last night.. we sat together alone in the basement and bonded while he played me the guitar. he made me blush so much :-)
then their band practiced and ray (la drummer) took off his shirt and his flab/nipple rings were flying everywhere and i found it hard not to space out to it..it was awesome.
i was supposed to see chris today but my mom got all weird so i went and hid in le laundry room.

and lacie keeps reading my lj and then leaving it up and her parents read it and freak out... they told her she cooked popcorn which was bad..lol.. they are the weirdest parents ever. they kinda scare me.

The photographer is proof (i know you know)

2004-08-12T06:02:14Z

it's never been enough
to just leave or give up
but, its never good enough to feel right

riding in cars with boys gets me nowhere.

2004-08-11T23:40:19Z

i know that i shouldn't hate him and that i should forgive him but for some reason i just don't want to. i feel that he is just shitting lies and then i should just stop talking to him all together but when i get online and he is on i tend to stare at his sn and when he im's me (even though i want to kill him) i get really excited.. i know that i still like him and yet i hate him with every fiber of my being. if a car ran him over i'd cry but it the back of my mind i'd kinda feel like he deserved it.

he tells me i wasn't just some girl and yet he said that ever since he laid eyes on some other girl he imagined her body on his and i tell him about it and he says it was some joke? how is that funny? how is that a fucking joke? where is the humor? i don't see it.. but maybe i'm crazy. maybe that is just the best joke ever!! :-) :-) :-) :-) ?

he wrote me a song and i hope he jokes on the lyrics.

i'm not bitching about that any more.. moving on.!

last night chris came and got me and katie and we went up to the mall to get andy. i saw alex york from afar. he is just my best friend and i wish everyone was like alex! we got andy and went to their house. i heard chris's band. they are very good. i think andy is a very lovely singer.
i am going to see chris again tonight. he is the highlight of my day every day.

and finally:
karlie got her ferret. she is very cute. karlie wouldn't name her george bush like i had hoped.. but she named her pipper which is ok i guess. it's no george bush but WHATEVER. i need a shower.

<3 <3 <3

2004-08-09T02:37:56Z

Yesterday Chris came over and we hung out with Karlie, Lacie, Dustin, Leah, and Ben.
It was a lot fun.
We went to Taco Bell and Leah got something and then we went to Arby's but then we decided to go to Steak n' Shake instead.
Then Chris treated me to a movie and we went in early and sat in the back corner and bonded.
Twas lovely.
Then I got home and my mom was angry so today i couldn't see him today.
But in a few minutes I'm sneaking out and I'm going to go hang out wit Lacie.

©

yawn

2004-08-05T05:06:42Z

well last night alex got me and we hung out in a parking lot and then we made out and the next day i found out that he was choosing someone else over me. wow.

END.

today i saw chris. it was a lot of fun. we hung out at badboards untill 9 then i went to his and andy's house. and i met tara. she was nice. chris drove me home right before 11pm and i gave him a pretty little kiss. he is going to call me. we may hang out tomorrow. not sure.<3 <3 <3 <3

lacie made me a pie today to make me feel better for having shattered dreams and it made me sick..

hitlerdjesus @ 2004-08-04T04:51:00

2004-08-04T08:59:56Z

do do do do do ... this is lacie and well ummm im bored so um... here!

i made edited those when i was bored ..

ScatterBrainedVL: COOL LITTLE BUDDY BACK DOWN ON THE MONEY BUDDY

2004-08-04T06:55:14Z

well i went to my mall party and hung out with all the awesome people and i saw alex york who is fab-0-lous .. and then someone told me he was going out with perkins girl sooo i got this other guy's number and we just talked on the phone for about an hour and i am going to see him tomorrow AND THEN i find out alex ISN'T going out with perkins girl AND I WISH I KNEW HER REAL NAME but now i am going to have to choose which i know is going to be alex but i really like chris he is so nice to me and he is the only guy that has ever called me right when he was supposed to!! so oh gosh i am going to feel bad when i say i can't techniquely date him any more cuz he is just so nice to me... so geez. that's all i can say.

i want alex to come to my house at 3 in the morning tomorrow night. that would be so wonderful.

homestyle garlic croutons (damned bitches)

2004-08-02T04:37:56Z

kyle, robbie, and alex kuhling came over to lacie's today.

then megan and tiffany joined the party.

we went swimming and kyle got naked and so did i..again..(i just can't seem to keep my clothes on..)

kyle and robbie made out right in front of my face and i about shat my tight pants with excitement.

ohhh the excitement..

i hope everyone can play tomorrow!!

to hell with you and all your friends

2004-07-31T13:16:52Z

this is lacie... yesterday Leah and I had nothing to do so i got my camera and took loost of pictures...k

<<<i made that...i think its loveeeeeeeely

<<<she is suprised

<<< wow

<<<thats my sisters boyfriend...and leah. look at his shirt

<<<hi

<<<Leah

<<mmmhmmm

Whee

2004-07-26T19:14:33Z

Well i have had a fairly good couple of days. :-)

On Thursday (I think), Karlie, Lacie, and I went and saw the Notebook. It was so beautiful.. Karlie and I cried all through it and at the end we started bawling and laughing at the same time and strangers told us that it would be okay..:-)

The next day I went to Kroger with Karlie Lacie and Megan and we baught some items and then i got beautiful Mark's number.. and then I called him. And then I talked to him. And then I hung up. And then I slept at Karlie's with all of the before mentioned, except for Mark.

The next day Katie and I hung out (we made up) and saw Alex Kuhling and Robbie. Then Lacie joined us. Robbie drove us to the Chinese food restoraunt and we had some food. Then we went to Lacie's and they tried to get me to call Mark but I didn't want to cuz I'm a puss.

AND I BAUGHT SOME OF THAT LIPSTICK THAT DOESN'T COME OFF! it's awesome.. it stays there.. all day. after I eat and make out with a bunch of people it's all still there. You should buy some.

girls from seven eleven stay up all night

2004-07-23T02:41:38Z

I feel really retarded. I feel like there is no one there for me and i don't mean like a friend i mean a boy. There is no boy for me and i feel like i am never going to find the right one and i feel like i'm in love with this one but he treats me worse than cory treats katie. and i try to tell myself that i'm not in love cuz i am only 14 and what do i know about love? and all he talks about is his band and retarded stuff and he never shows any consideration towards me yet whenever i see his sn online i want to talk to him and whenever i see his number on my cell phone i want to call him and i always want to talk to him and i always want to see him but maybe it's good that i'm not seeing him. i don't know.

and i'm also really PISSED OFF cuz some people act like they are your friend and they are there for you and when you tell them you are doing something and you are changing they just smile and laugh a little but then once they aren't with you they talk behind your back well FUCK YOU BITCH.
i might as well say that's to miss katie hall. i guess i'll tell you all now that every once in a while i like to have a cigarett. so fuck your sXe you're not even sXe and just like in karlie's lj i am not bashing sXe in general cuz i have great respect for it and i love it and i proud of everyone who is sXe and you wil never hear me talking bad about it cuz i think it's the greatest thing in the world. but i always told katie "yeahh it's fine if you want to drink pop and be straight edge. it's your decision!" well fuck that caffine is an addictive drug and you look like a complete retard calling yourself straight edge. be glad that you have lacie cuz she is the only one who's not tired of your shit. You just want to say you're sXe so you can be LABELED something since you're the most trendy fuck i know. you copied lacie's hair and you wear trendy hot topic atire. you need to change the way you think and the way you live and the way you talk before you lose lacie too.

i told katie that i have been smoking lately and she acts like she really doesn't care and then goes home and sicks her poser brother on me. well bryan fuck you you act like you know what you're talking about with politics and shit but you are just reciting your anti-flag lyrics so go stick one of their cd's up your ass oh wait you already have. you're just as bad as your sister you both are sex bunnies which is against the sXe code as well. "i want to have sex with dustin i was to have sex with rodney i want to have sex with cory" oh yeah you're sXe you can only do that if you're in love witch you aren't you take all the boys you get for grantite. you need to be glad to just spend time with your bf cuz you don't know what it's like to be as lonely as i am for as long as i have been. and bryan had sex with amanda and he wants to do it with kelly and he wants to do it with me and karlie and probably katie. well fuck you both and fuck your edge. bitches.

i have been just wanting to cry lately. I am tired of the way i live i need a change i need something new. LIKE A BOY. I am glad i have karlie and lacie and i even feel like i can talk to dustin too.

i love bitches

2004-07-22T04:36:52Z

i just got back from the atreyu concert. it was quite dank. every time i die and unearth were both there too and they were awesome. i was going to buy a shirt but INSTEEADDD i decided to buy karlie and dustin and myself food...? cuz i'm kind. but after the concert i made friends with 2 drunk bums and one sober one and i gave one a cigarett and we talked about my pants and my vegina.. it was awesome.

i <333 sweedish fish..

not the candy.

but what does that mean then ?

if you have you ask.. you'll never know...

unless you ask nicely.

lacie was supposed to go to the concert but she couldn't and i missed her but she will be able to go next time.
tiffany and trlp were there and ronnie's (from trlp) gf anna was there. and dustin's friend was hot. he one that looked like the bass player from mint6ten. he was a hot boy.

I LOVE TO GO TO THE MARKET AND BUY DIRTY UNDERWEAR

2004-07-19T01:51:38Z

swallow me like wiinnneeee...

today i went on the boat with lacie. it was great fun. i'm still kinda worn out from t-dawg's party/ always sexing lacie up.. well after the boat we ate din din and then made smores ! it was quite dank.

i can't wait for the atreyu concert at bogart's on wednesday.. it is going to be so awesome... you all should go. all of you. every one. even you. yes you. go. wednesday. bogart's. do it.
i am going to buy merchandise... of atreyuness.. and it shall be quite rad.

i need to start my summer reading if i want to go though.. that's what my mommy said. cuz i only have a month of vacation and i have to read a novel and 4 short stories. my new school starts on the 18th of august.. how horribly dumb

i <3

2004-07-17T21:56:57Z

On Wednesday lacie karlie megan and i camped out in my front yard in lacie's tent. it was a big party. we had inflatably matresses <3. they didn't really work though. it was a lot of fun.

On Friday i went to tasha's birthday party <3! it was a lot of fun too. i put on hand cuffs that didn't have a key and tasha's mom almost had to call the police to come unlock them.. but rodney separated them and then joe picked the locks which was dank. and then rachel and i played cops and robbers and they tied me up and tickled me and i got a battle wound.. and no one slept except for katie and maggie and at like 5am nick and chelsea fell asleep.. and caren was there.. she is black. that's why i missed her. i left my bag there cuz these ppl who i didn't know were sleeping in tasha's room where it was and it was dark this morning and i was too tired to look. so i have to get that. i love tasha and her house <333..!

Atreyu concert on wednesday at bogarts!! i shall be attending that...

wricka fricka

2004-07-12T04:12:17Z

on friday i went to trlp show with megan and lacie and karlie and tiffany and dustin and josh. <3
it was quite rad. <3
A child must die was really funny.. even though i eventually had to leave cuz i couldn't take it any more. <3
i bought a trlp shirt. <3
i like it. <3
i was going to spend the night with megan afterwards but the sluty pot heads who claim to be my parents wouldn't let me on the last minute. :-(
then toddayyy dustin and josh and karlie and lacie and i all hung out. <3
it was quite rad. <3
karlie got mad at josh cuz he threw a paper towl at her cat.
it was quite funny. <3
it's lacie's sister's (leah lewis) birthday today. i got to eat cake (even though i hate leah with a passion). <3

does anyone remember blue and yellow purple hills by eminem? <3

and what does enthralled mean ?

my life is a shamble.

2004-07-07T04:54:53Z

...

the boy who i wrote about in the entry before last knows that it was him..gosh. i kinda want to kill myself. i would rather kill lacie though. she told him to read it. that retard. i was hoping he wouldn't...... but oh well. i love him ;-) ;-) he was hinting at it and i was blushing REALLY BADLY and i felt really weird and i kept thinking of different ways to kill lacie. i may as well just say his name right now. but i won't lol cuz i am still hoping that i just think he knows cuz i'm parranoid about it. i wish i could just tell him though. but i can't tell him a lot of things. none of them are big secrets or anything but there are a bunch of things that are just really hard to talk to him about. he's not the easiest person to talk to... but that's ok. all i want is to feel his arms around me and to be able to cuddle with him and to be able to kiss him on the cheek.. and i don't need to talk to him while doing that. he makes me so emo :-)i cried about allllllll him last night. i think it's dumb how i think about him as much as i do.. i try to think of other things but he is just my favorite memory. and i talk about him to lacie all the time. i can't wait to see him. i went boating with karlie and lacie today and the whole time i thought about what would be happening if he was there. i really miss him.

green poop.

2004-07-06T04:21:02Z

welll yesterday i went boating with lacie and her family and then kathy came up and brought karlie and dustin and dustin was being a poo head and niether karlie nor dustin would swim or anything and it was dummmbbbb and then i got hit on by 3 boys in a car.. they were like 22.. one was really cute.. but then we went home and ate food and then we roasted smors and watched fire works it was great...very great indeed..

and then i burped lacie.. oh yes it was the best moment of my life..

and then today i went to the mall and hung out there for a while and then went to see mark but he was nowhere to be found and i was temporarily depressed becuase i miss his beautful face and lacie still hasn't been able to see his tattoo and it is SO AWESOME and she really needs to see it..and she wanted to ask him about grey poupaun.

<3 i like being in love

i'm in a glass case of emotion.

2004-07-01T03:54:15Z

OHHH GOODDNEESS.. i'm in love.. oh geez..

i don't even know how to start to explain how i feel..it's just whenever i see his face, like in a picture or something, i think about the lyric lacie gets stuck in my head: "when i look at you my eyes are anything but tired" cuz that's just how i feel when i see him.. i get all weird feeling and this knot comes up in my throat and i always think about him and i always want to see him and i feel really horrible when i can't make it to one of his shows and i have never told him about how i feel.. karlie and lacie and katie know who i am talking about but no one else does.. and i can't get back together with him because of circumstances that are out of my control..

we have been just friends for over a year but sometimes when i have nothing else to do and i can't sleep i'll think about him and i'll start crying and i really really really want to be with him.. and we talk a lot and whenever i talk to him i just get really happy and when he has to go i'm not as happy.. and i know i have to move on which i guess i did cuz i have GORGEOUS MARK..OOHHHH GOOSSHHHHH.. but lol it really isn't the same.. if i could be with "him" i would not go even consider mark (even though you are the most gorgious boy i have ever laid my eyes on and i'll probably never see anyone as beautiful as you)

sometimes i will just stare at his pictures i have of him because i find myself longing to feel the way i do when i see him. no one has ever made me feel the way i feel around him and if he knew i would just die...

i love you.. you love me.. we're a happy family =-)

2004-06-27T04:46:12Z

TODAY WAS SO COOL

i don't know where karlie was but she didn't answer her phone so i called katie (cuz she is only second in my life) and she said she was about to go to the store so i sat around for an hour and then i went to katie's and bryan and james and rick were outsie working on bryan's car and they said katie wasn't home so we all (bryan and james and rick and me) drove up to kroger and i felt really cool!! like i felt like we were a band and we were really cool and i was the only girl in the band which gave me extra coolness and we all walked in a straight line into kroger through the "out" door and i felt like such a rebel and as we were walking in, AMANDA bryan's god forsaken evil ex gf walked by and we all totally ignored her and i felt like a rebel again and then I GOT TO TALK TO MY BELOVED MARK AND I WAS SO HAPPY AND I GOT TO STARE AT HIS TATTOO WICH IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! but you know.. i'm not "obsesseeeddddd" or anything...geez..

and then bryan drove me home and i found out that katie wassss home so i went there and had some chiken and walked around in my dad's pants that he wore in the '60's.

and then bryan went to "JOE'S" haha he is getting laiiddd right now at a hotel by KELLLLYYYYYYYYY!!! joe is with him though.. it's great.. i smell of bryan right now cuz as he was coming out to leave he hugged me and shedded he wonderful cologne onto i love it.. well that's all.. i love you

LLOONNNDDOONNN Unit.

2004-06-20T01:12:25Z

I just got back from london today.

it was ok.. but if you take the 7 hour long flight to and fro and then add all the tours i had to go on.. and compare it to the fun stuff.. it really wasn't that great.

but i went down to camden town and it was awesome cuz everyone down there was a hardcore punk rocker with a bright mohawk i loved it. and there was this ladey and she was like this wierd gothish person with lime green and orange dreds and she had a daughter that looked like a hot topic sign HAHA it was swell.. and the little girl came in the store and they did that french thing where you kiss both cheacks i loved it i wished i could have filmed it. i bought a belt and a dress down there. there was the awesome purse and i was going to get it but then i went somewhere else and when i came back it was gone i wanted to just lick a camel's behind... oh well i'm glad to be back.

i took a bunch of pictures and movies to show karlie and katie and lacie (if lacie is back before i delete them)

and i saw the hottest boy i will ever see... ohhhh he was more karlie's type but ohhh wellll i was in love.. he was really tall and thin and he had on these tight white pants and this bondage belt and chucks and he was.. so.. tall. he had this shaggy hair and on one side it was white and on the other it was black i wanted to just go up and spank him (he had the nicest butt). but i thought he was like 26 or something but later that day i saw him on a tour bus with i guess his mom and his little brother and i was like "hmm" and i watched him..... the whole time.

i was so sad i had to leave him. i had this dream that i got on the plane to leave and he lived in cincinnati too and he sat next to me.. ohhhhh goooood. oh well

i need a boy...

#2

2004-06-10T04:11:07Z

YOU KNOW WHAT? don't you just hate it when you have a friend that when they cry you are there if you can be and you hang with them and YOU CALL THEM YOUR BEST FRIEND even though they annoy you a lot and sometimes you don't really like them.. but you still refer to them as your best friend and you have known them for about 8 years and you two have gone through everything together.. and then they sit there and are like "i don't have a best friend... i wish i had someone's shoulder to cry on.." well you know what? you have 3 SHOULDERS! 3 THAT LIVE RIGHT BY YOU.

and if you called me really early and told me to come to your window and talk to you i would and so would other ppl. and as far as "taking your razors away when you hide them" and what not i told your mom which helped you a little more i think.. geez.. and you say we all don't understand but you don't have any reason to cut yourself you have everything you've wanted. and you say you think you're fat but pretty much all girls are insecure about their bodies. sometimes i think you just do it out of boredum..and you know ppl who have cut themselves a lot more severely than you do. you could just talk to them. so there. shut up and stop complaining.

IN OTHER NEWS i am going to england in a few days and it will be so much fun.

annndd i got my peircings.. it hurts to smile.. and getting them was more pain than you could ever imagine..

and i'm out. if you are going to leave a comment bitching at me about "how could i DARE put something about me like that in your profile ?!" .. don't bother.. cuz i don't care what you think.. kiss my black ass. and u am almost positive that we will get into a fight after you read this.

so bring it.

WOOT!!

2004-06-07T18:49:15Z

woooooooo

i have black hair with a light stripe and right now i am leaving to go get some new peircings !!!

woooooooot..!

hitler danger jesus the 1st.